Not going well at all.

After a few really good days, things have continued to deteriorate, diabetes-wise. Probably in other ways, too. I don't even want to think about it.

For the most part, Scruffy's numbers have been horrible. Make that Horrible, with a capital H. On the 20th of August, I picked up a new prescription of Levemir, and a new bottle of R, which was Novolin, instead of Humulin. (I assume it doesn't matter. Well, actually, it hasn't mattered, because things are just as stinky as they were with Humulin....) We've had whole days of sitting in the upper 300's. Preshots in the almost-500's. Hardly any movement from morning to night, unless it's UP.

My new theory - I always have a theory, but never seem to prove anything - is that this is some sort of beginning ear torment again. I think it's related to the two weeks of clindamycin he had prior to the dental in July. He's not digging and shaking his head the way he did when his ears were really bad, and I've been checking them; there's not a lot of sediment or that greasy brown stuff inside them. But there is clearly some discomfort. He fusses when I hold his ear to test him. And, oh, how he hates those ear drops. The stuff actually doesn't smell all that bad. I use the cotton-ball-saturated-with-ear-drops-and- squeezed-into-his-ears-technique. If you can call it a "technique." Mostly, I just try desperately to hang onto his chubby little body with the churning claws while he's ferociously attempting to get away from me before the drops by some freak chance actually get into his ears. Then he shakes his head and soaks us both, and the curtains, and the floor, and the windows. It's not pretty. To make matters worse, he really holds a grudge. Once we've done the drops, he won't get back up on the window ledge voluntarily, even though that's where he eats twice a day. And where the water is. And where he can look out the window. Doesn't matter. He's mad and he's not gonna go there.

Anyway, about the lousy numbers. I started the new vial of R and the new pen cartridge of Levemir. I started at 1 unit of Levemir, because I did think that maybe part of the problem is that I've been sort of jumping around with dosages and Levemir doesn't seem to care much for that. I'll give it a couple days, and then go up. Back the last time that things were going well, he was getting 1.25 Levemir bid and no R. I guess that should be my goal. Or not. I don't need any of this right now. I'm in a panic about Milkshake and bottlefeeding him four times a day. I've got pills and insulin and blood testing and feeding and whatever, and I'm just afraid I'm not doing a good job with any of it.